Why It's Not Working Out For You (and for me)

Hi, it's been a while (not that anyone is reading this)

I started this personal website to document my thoughts and learnings and try to teach it to any readers but I somehow didn't manage to keep up with it.

Why isn't this working out for me?

It seems like a perennial problem that has plagued me since I started trying to do any content related thing (YouTube, Dropshipping, Instagram pages, etc), I was more worried about what people thought about what I was doing, rather than the actual doing of it.

Yeah I wanted to do the thing well for my own sake, but I was more fixated on the outcome.

"Will people read this? Will they like it if they do?"

"When will this make money?"

"Will people like this video?"

I found that with my personal YouTube account, I enjoyed making videos most when I did it because I found it fun.

This Website

I started out this website as a way to develop my personal brand, to try and funnel people into reading my content, and then eventually possibly booking me for scheduled consulting and calls and whatever. Yes, I intended to help people but I also intended to profit off it somehow. I know, it's scummy to some extent.

I think my desires were misaligned from the start. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make every post as good as it could be, with pictures, references, links, spending hours editing it, etc.

And eventually, you guys only got to see 2 posts. The rest are in my drafts and may never be posted for a long time.

Why?

I was too focused on making it perfect because I had this incessant need for the posts to reach people.

"Done is better than perfect" - Sheryl Sandberg

Get going before you get good

That's still one of my favourite quotes, and in theory it is completely true.

But sometimes it's hard to bring yourself to get going.

You feel pulled by this external need, rather than pushed by this internal desire.

And that was what was missing in me. The internal desire.

Along the way I forgot that I was doing this for the fun of it. Just to put something out there.

I got so caught up in wanting the outcome that I was paralysed.

It became a chore and a huge mental burden to churn out these posts, and ultimately I just never brought myself to do it.

So what now?

I'm going back to my "roots", making posts for the fun of it. This website is no longer going to be a structured and planned vessel to bring me to a particular outcome.

It's going to be a place where I talk about whatever I want, whenever I want. The only one outcome I'm hoping, is to become a better writer. But I'll get going before I get good.