4 Simple Habits That Pulled Me Out of Depression and Towards Fulfillment

In the middle of 2021, I finished my degree and started working at my dad's company. Two months into the job, I realized... I wasn't happy.

I was always supposed to join the company and take over. But I never took the time to consider if that's what I truly wanted for myself. Suddenly, I had no motivation for anything. I felt listless, aimless, and started spiraling.

I was having an existential crisis, and not the cute kind. The serious kind. The kind where I left work early to yell into a pillow, thinking to myself, "What's the point of it all?"

It's a thought that comes up more commonly among everyone now, in an era where we are no longer looking to just survive, but to thrive – where we want to find reasons, meaning, and fulfillment in life. My existential crisis stemmed from a similar desire.

I didn't know where this malaise came from, but at some point, I knew I couldn't just give in to it. So I picked myself up by doing things a little differently in my life.

There's a lot of advice thrown around on how you should live your life. On my journey of fulfillment and self-discovery, I've practically tried them all.

I know it's hard to find the motivation to do things when you're feeling down and at your very worst. That's why I aimed for easy, simple habits that don't take up too much time but definitely need some commitment.

I have to caveat that this is what worked for me. I was not clinically depressed, but I was going through a really rough period where I was lost and misguided for the most part. If you have a serious mental health issue, it goes beyond these habits and you need to decide what's best for yourself.

These are the four simple habits that I picked up when I was going through a depressive rut, and they helped me turned my life around.

1. Making my bed every morning

Sounds dumb, but I’ll tell you why it worked. Full disclosure, I don’t do this as often any more.

At this stage in my life, everything was kinda out of control. I was doing something that I was “supposed” to do, not because I wanted to do it, just being dragged around in every direction.

But there was this thing in front of me. The first thing I saw when I woke up.

My bed? Yes, but it was something more. It was opportunity. I could start taking control right there and then. It sounds silly, but the simple act of making your bed, putting it in order, could set you up to turn your whole outlook on life around.

That's because confidence comes from evidence of competence. And this evidence comes from doing things. So when I made my bed, and made it with INTENTION, I sent a message to myself, a message that showed myself that I am capable of doing something, no matter how small, that I'm in control of the situation.

So yes, my parents were right, so were yours.

ACTION

Take 5 minutes every morning to make your bed look presentable. It's a simple action, but when you realise what it represents, it can build your self confidence and self worth.

2. 15 minutes of Unrestricted Journaling

Now this one is a little bit cliche, but I'm gonna tell you guys how I did it.

If you're reading this, you most likely have a lot on your mind. It's hard to make sense of what goes on in your mind when you have it trapped all up in here (Point at brain). That's the idea of this action – you literally brain dump everything on your mind. When you do that, you're basically putting form to a clump of words.

Imagine a ball of twine, messed up, coiled up, just a whole mess. It doesn't need to be gratitude journaling, just write about anything. Whatever is on your mind, set a timer for 15 minutes and brain dump it there.

When you write freely, about whatever comes to mind, how your day was, how you're feeling, the annoying BMW driver on the highway, your grocery list, what you're basically doing is you're taking that ball of twine, that mess, and pulling the twine out. You're making sense of the mess. Putting it in order and giving form to the formless.

By doing this, when you bring order to this mess, when you give it form, something more tangible than a mass of thoughts in your head, you start to make sense of it better.

It's honestly a form of self-therapy. When we make sense of things, it's easier for us to move on from them. So, journal, write, type – I don't care. Just put form to what's in your mind. It's such an essential habit that I still journal almost every day, even at this point in my life.

ACTION

Get a journal. Every day, set aside 15 minutes before bed to write whatever comes to mind. If you're stuck, maybe some prompts might help such as:

• Today I... (write about what you did)

• I feel... (write about what you're feeling in the moment)

• I want to... (write about your desires)

The idea behind all these prompts is to get going. Where it leads to doesn't matter.

3. Cold showers

Legit. Don't click off. I know it may sound cliche, but hear me out.

Another caveat – I don't do this anymore. But at the start, I did it basically every day for at least three months. There's a huge resurgence these days of people like Andrew Huberman talking about cold plunges and ice baths. Lots of research shows the benefits of cold exposure therapy, but I'm not here to talk about that. The main benefit, the main intention I had in mind, is slightly different.

Imagine this: You're at your rock bottom, your lowest point, feeling useless, incompetent, whatever. Every situation is different, but I strongly believe that when you start to collect evidence of your competency, you start to feel better about yourself. You start to think, "Hey, maybe I'm not that useless."

That's why I suggested making your bed in the morning. Cold showers are similar in that sense.

Taking a cold shower is something that's arguably not fun nor comfortable at all. Trust me, I know. So when you conquer the cold shower, you can feel like you can conquer the world. The challenge, however, is that there's always a moment – the moment you stare at the running cold water in front of you, the moment between dryness and moisture – where you think, "I don't want to do this."

Alex Banayan, author of "The Third Door," calls this "The Flinch." It's the in-the-moment, fight-or-flight, nervous response to doing something out of your comfort zone. The thing is, this muscle of "getting over the flinch" can be trained with conscious effort. When you learn to overcome it, you'll get better at it. So for the first month, it could be the moment before stepping under the running cold water. One day, it could be sending a cold email to a potential mentor, asking that girl out, talking to a stranger, or maybe even writing your first article.

This is really one of the biggest benefits of the cold shower for me, and as cliché as it is, it really helped me build up my confidence in myself and my self-esteem.

ACTION

Don't overcomplicate it: get in the shower in the morning, step back from the water, turn the cold water on, count down "3, 2, 1," and step in.

It's a trick I learned from the movie "Grown Ups," when Adam Sandler's kid wants to ask a girl out.

4. Technology Free Walks

Steve Jobs did his best thinking while walking. According to his biography written by Walter Isaacson, he took most, if not all, of his one-on-one meetings on walks and often spent a lot of alone time walking. What I'm suggesting here is not just a walk, but a technology-free walk.

In the world we live in, we tend to be so busy with all sorts of things that we don't simply go on walks anymore. There's never a need to. Similarly, we have instant access to some sort of stimulant – our phones are always in our pockets. Feeling bored? Just open Instagram and live vicariously through others. Feeling upset? Scroll TikTok, and you'll forget your problems.

A technology-free walk means going on a walk for 15-30 minutes without your phone. That's all. Go out and observe your surroundings. No music, no podcasts, no audiobooks.

There's a plethora of studies that support the benefits of walking, ranging from physical, cognitive, mental, and social advantages.

• Stanford research found that people who went on walks performed significantly better on tests that measure creative thinking during and after walks. Walking boosted creative thinking by an average of 60%, and the benefits were felt long after the walk itself.

• Researchers in Illinois have also found that children exhibited improved cognitive performance after 20 minutes of walking versus 20 minutes of sitting quietly.

For me, I found the benefits of walking without my phone in the observation of everything around me. I was forced to slow down, to look at things in detail, to realize how nice it was to be outside, in nature, with people, and how much you could be missing out on in the world while stuck on your phone.

In a world where everyone has access to you at every moment of every day, it's good to shut out some of that access. Our bodies were not made for constant stimulation, and years of overstimulating your brain will eventually take its toll.

ACTION

Put your phone aside, set a timer for 10 minutes, put on your walking shoes, and get out there. Once the 10 minute timer goes off, walk back the way you came. that's an easy 20 minute walk.

It would help to batch this habit with something, for example do it once you come back from work, after dinner, the moment you wake up, etc. This is a trick called habit stacking (Credit to James Clear for this idea).

Observe the world around you, let your mind wander, and rediscover the simple pleasure of a technology-free walk.

It Starts With Your Intention

Now obviously these are the actions that you take, but if you haven’t noticed already, the actions would be useless without the INTENTION behind the actions.

And this goes without saying.

Sometimes you want to laze around, scroll on your phone, that’s fine, too. I’m not saying that everything you do needs to have intention. But INTENTION is what makes your action effective and useful.

The intentional execution of these practices and habits provide you with evidence of your competence and capabilities, and ultimately helps you build your confidence in yourself, starting you on the journey of being a better person.

I have to caveat again that this is what worked for me, I was not clinically depressed and I was going through a rough period of my life. If your problems go beyond a cold shower or a walk, seek professional help and decide your best course of action.

Here's a photo from my weekend to end off this post. Cute.